Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It heals us, allowing us to be free of anger, hate, bitterness and pain. Sometimes we don't realize negative feelings exist within us. We may have buried them deep inside of us because we are taught not to feel that way towards another person, especially if they are someone we love. These type of negative feelings can be brought to the surface when something from our past triggers them. Several years ago, I had an experience that brought up some very negative feelings within me. I was taken by complete surprise and it overwhelmed me because I'm not an overly emotional person and I don't enjoy feeling that way. My first reaction was to drop to my knees for help and what proceeded to happen was nothing short of a miracle.
As I sought God's help in dealing with my negative feelings, I experienced the ability to instantly forgive someone that had deeply hurt me. I realized that it took many years to get to the point where I could experience all those negative feelings and finally deal with them. As I did, I had to make a choice. Rather than becoming bitter, I chose to ask God to help me forgive and He answered my prayer by granting me a forgiving heart. I knew I had to desire it though, more than I wanted that person to pay for what they had done. It healed me and a great burden was taken from me, one I hadn't even realized I had carried for so long.
We all make mistakes and we all need forgiveness. We want to be forgiven for the things we have done that have hurt others, but we don't always want to grant forgiveness to others for hurting us. The most important thing I have learned about forgiveness is we cannot ask for forgiveness if our hearts aren't willing to forgive others. It doesn't mean forgiveness has to be immediate, only that we are willing and working towards it. To me, a forgiving heart means we not only seek forgiveness, but we grant it as well. I am deeply grateful for this learning experience and I hope to always remember the importance of seeking a forgiving heart.
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