I have a family member who has been stuck in a self-destructive cycle for most of his life. So long, in fact, that it's very hard to imagine him ever breaking out of it. I can't imagine it because it's all I've ever experienced with him. I realize that my experience with him is minuscule compared to God's experience with him. I wonder: Who was he before he came here? What was he like? What did he hope for and desire?
The truth is I find myself going between anger and sadness in relation to him. I'm just human and I can't see him like God does. I can't remember what he was like before he came here, so I naturally base all that I feel about him on my earthly experiences with him. I have very few good memories with him when I was younger. As I grew up, they became almost non-existent and there aren't a lot to recall now. The truth is, it's hard to even like him sometimes now. Having said that though, I believe there is someone in there that I knew before this life and I have no doubt that I liked him. I know this because I have seen who he can be before addiction took over his life.
I think there is a lot to be said about looking for the good in others and that's because there is more to us than what is seen in our lives here on earth. This life isn't our beginning nor is it our ending. It's somewhere in between and there are many things in this life that can mask the person we really are. I believe our soul is who we really are. Our soul is us without our "story." We all had the same beginning before this life, but it's not true here on earth. We aren't all loved the same as we were before this life and we aren't all given the same opportunities here either. That is why I believe we are taught not to judge, because there is so much more to every person than we know. They have a beginning with Heavenly parents who loved them deeply and still do. There is divinity within everyone of us, but it can be a challenge to see that in others. We all seem so....human. It's hard to see past that.
Right now, I realize that I can't see my drug addicted family member the way God does. All I can do is pray for help to do so and for guidance to know how to help him. Most importantly though, I can pray for strength to not judge him and to look for the good in him. I can do this because even though I can't see him clearly right now, I know he's in there.
