I've learned some important lessons over the past several years. I am deeply grateful for what I have learned and the fact that my eyes have been opened to see others in a way I didn't see them before. What an amazing gift I have been given which I can carry with me for the rest of my life.
One important lesson I have learned is that good and bad can coexist in people at the same time. Of course there are some extremely evil people out there, who we would be hard pressed to find any good, but most people are a mixed bag of good and bad. When we come to accept this truth, we allow ourselves and others the ability to make mistakes, repent and work to do better. We don't view them as people who have nothing good to offer or who should never be given a second chance. This is critical to remember, especially when it comes to forgiving ourselves.
Another important lesson I have learned is that when we judge others we tend to judge them on how we see them behaving, not by their intentions (as we judge ourselves). We may see a mom yelling at her kids in public and judge her as a poor mother, but what we don't see is that she may be going through a difficult divorce, have a sick parent at home, or be out of money with no food left in the cupboard to feed her kids. I believe most people want to be better than they are and that they try to do their best in their given circumstances. We can be so harsh on others when we don't know their full story, it is only human nature to do so. I've learned through my own extreme challenges that it's not my place to judge another. It was so easy to do so before when I was living a life from the perspective of a judge. I was on the bench looking down, gavel in hand, deciding who I should "let go" and who I should not. Thank you for placing me at the mercy of the judge, Lord. Thank You for this new perspective. Thank You for letting me see how much we really are all alike and how important each one of us are to You. And thank You for allowing me to get a glimpse of how You view Your children and how we, as humans, fall so very short of seeing one another as You do.
I've realized how very grateful I am for the life I have been given by God. I'm grateful for the very difficult people in my life, who have hurt me extensively. For those who were trying to protect themselves right along side me; for those who befriended me along the way; for those who have been kind to me for no particular reason; for those who have judged me and condemned me without a full understanding of what I have been through; for those who have completely ignored me as though I don't even exist; and for those, especially, who have extended their love and friendship to me. Thank you to each and everyone of you, for each of you have taught me things that have opened my eyes to human nature and the many strengths and weaknesses that are inherently attached to it. Each response from others to me, to my life and to my family has taught me something, even if it has been painful and difficult to bear. I accept all of it and will take every experience to turn to my own good.
I have learned that forgiveness is always the right answer, no matter how much a person has hurt us. Forgiveness is for us, to help us heal and live a full life. I know that I have hurt people in my life, but having said that I sincerely know this as well; I have never intentionally tried to hurt anyone. Any pain or hurt I have caused has been through my own weakness and pain. I have never had any desire to inflict harm or pain on another human being and this I can sincerely say without a doubt. Not only have I not had any desire to hurt another person, I have always been the type of person to try and make things better for everyone around me, even to my own detriment. I've learned a lot about myself and others through their treatment of me. I know that through all of these experiences I have become the person I am today. Having struggled with deep feelings of self doubt and worthlessness, I have learned that I am not the only one who has felt this way and that I can be a hand that lifts and heals another.
I'm so grateful that God knows my heart and has throughout my entire life. I'm grateful that He can see the person that I really am and that He responds to me in my time of need. I know that He has answered my prayers and that He is the one leading me forward. I know that I was brought to this point in my life to be able to see and understand that which I did not see before. And,I know that I will do all that I can now to become the person God intends for me to be and to show Him that I have learned the important lessons I needed to learn through all the life experiences He has given me.
